i have been thinking alot again lately.. anw i always think alot.. after the unhppy day in school last thurs.. i thought abt it once again.. yesterday and today.. the real reason behind all the confusion and the mess has only one main factor.. cos i am caught in the middle.. wanting my choice and yet seeing the bad side of it.. sigh.. what sort of person am i? sometimes i really wonder...
thankfully somebodies told me to tell them so they could help me.. but the problem is i dunno how to phrase.. i dunno how to say.. its like the decisions and the thinkings all have to come through me in the end.. its not that someone can take my place and sort things out for me.. however.. i still hope there will be someone always here for me.. whenever i hear something like that.. i am really touched and i will get real emotional.. so kiddish right.. but sensing that when i need help i jus pick up and call someone and then they listen will make me feel better.. i am glad ma.. but i nv really did call for once.. i prefer to say how i feel rather then what actually happen.. think its all abt that mian zhi prob.. if i dun say how i feel then jus trashed it in me.. till one day.. boom all out lo.. haha.. how weird right.. anw for the special someone and all the special somebodies... pls stay by me.. :) sound so despo right.. but i will say that cos we always take things for granted... thats why couples and families quarrel, friends backstabbed, blah blah.. you might not have the chance to say when u really wan too.. it will be either too late cos its over, all it has all ended...
now to the two questions that i badly need an ans..
we know we shouldnt compare.. but why is it so hard not to? when can i achieve the perfect me? am i good enough?
do differences really make no differences? really it doesnt matter in a relationship?
dont uds what i meant.. its ok.. i guessed these type of open ended qns have no model answers.. in the competitive world today.. its hard not to think abt all these.. i am slowly growing up and learning.. trying to perfect myself.. and also.. to understand.. what really is a relationship and how to handle.. am i only 19? haha.. sometimes i wonder.. i do silly things so often... its all abt the adult and the child in you.. the id and the superego.. sometimes superego overruled me far too much.. id came along and didnt pull me back enuff...
anw i got my ans for my second qn that day.. from someone i really wanna hear the ans from..and thats my ahem*.. hmm is it really true that you think this way? i wanna hear yr answer again leh pls.. :) see the eagerness here... its the id doing all this childish demand.. *shakehead* balance it man... that so me..
lighter part.. ok for the class gathering..or rather grp gathering.. i went to suntec to meet them.. latest by 630.. meeting time was at 6.. so i went there at 6.30 sharp and while wait for the rest to come.. its alr like 730 le.. eat super alot and yar.. luff super alot too.. i left early.. but think they left too cos we all decide nt to pop by the club.. i nt vv sure on that... we took picturesagain.. our fav spot.. haha..then its home sweet home.. its alr a year le since we met.. A yeAR! haha.. and hc say i still look 15.. huh that like in sec 3 leh! thus implying i never change.. so is this good or bad.. haha...
i have been thinking alot again lately.. anw i always think alot.. after the unhppy day in school last thurs.. i thought abt it once again.. yesterday and today.. the real reason behind all the confusion and the mess has only one main factor.. cos i am caught in the middle.. wanting my choice and yet seeing the bad side of it.. sigh.. what sort of person am i? sometimes i really wonder...
thankfully somebodies told me to tell them so they could help me.. but the problem is i dunno how to phrase.. i dunno how to say.. its like the decisions and the thinkings all have to come through me in the end.. its not that someone can take my place and sort things out for me.. however.. i still hope there will be someone always here for me.. whenever i hear something like that.. i am really touched and i will get real emotional.. so kiddish right.. but sensing that when i need help i jus pick up and call someone and then they listen will make me feel better.. i am glad ma.. but i nv really did call for once.. i prefer to say how i feel rather then what actually happen.. think its all abt that mian zhi prob.. if i dun say how i feel then jus trashed it in me.. till one day.. boom all out lo.. haha.. how weird right.. anw for the special someone and all the special somebodies... pls stay by me.. :) sound so despo right.. but i will say that cos we always take things for granted... thats why couples and families quarrel, friends backstabbed, blah blah.. you might not have the chance to say when u really wan too.. it will be either too late cos its over, all it has all ended...
now to the two questions that i badly need an ans..
we know we shouldnt compare.. but why is it so hard not to? when can i achieve the perfect me? am i good enough?
do differences really make no differences? really it doesnt matter in a relationship?
dont uds what i meant.. its ok.. i guessed these type of open ended qns have no model answers.. in the competitive world today.. its hard not to think abt all these.. i am slowly growing up and learning.. trying to perfect myself.. and also.. to understand.. what really is a relationship and how to handle.. am i only 19? haha.. sometimes i wonder.. i do silly things so often... its all abt the adult and the child in you.. the id and the superego.. sometimes superego overruled me far too much.. id came along and didnt pull me back enuff...
anw i got my ans for my second qn that day.. from someone i really wanna hear the ans from..and thats my ahem*.. hmm is it really true that you think this way? i wanna hear yr answer again leh pls.. :) see the eagerness here... its the id doing all this childish demand.. *shakehead* balance it man... that so me..
lighter part.. ok for the class gathering..or rather grp gathering.. i went to suntec to meet them.. latest by 630.. meeting time was at 6.. so i went there at 6.30 sharp and while wait for the rest to come.. its alr like 730 le.. eat super alot and yar.. luff super alot too.. i left early.. but think they left too cos we all decide nt to pop by the club.. i nt vv sure on that... we took picturesagain.. our fav spot.. haha..then its home sweet home.. its alr a year le since we met.. A yeAR! haha.. and hc say i still look 15.. huh that like in sec 3 leh! thus implying i never change.. so is this good or bad.. haha...
Pamela a simple 'yet not really so' girl
21 going 22
NTU(accountancy)graduate brand new in the the working world
loves being loved
loads of nonsense full of craps
aims to achieve the best
wanna achieve all her dreams big and little
