i once stated in friendster that i wont mention it ever again..
today i jus did.. and i cried real badly (bad).. now i understand what ish it like to feel so.. i know deep down i dun bear to but i still did it.. hmm.. i really thought that was the best.. i alr said i will control and not cry de.. but i failed.. its in me so much le.. its as become a part of me i have to admit and i guessed if there ish the next round.. it will be worst.. i would have sank deeper..
i am trying to think optimistic but time ish really a huge factor.. besides that expectations ish another area.. a demanding decade isnt joking.. i knew it deep down.. but at the same time it was right abt my unlikelihood of seeking an 'alternative' because i just nt those sort of people.. but can the one do that too.. its nt able no thrust.. the time created a cloud of uncertainty.. i really hope it can be shorter.. i really wanna prject ahead and see wad things are like ahead of me.. or else i will fall badly.. i really think so.. and i guessed those who know me well will know how much pain i would have endured then if it ever happens.. i really dun wan..
the main reason behind all these thoughts.. i dunno.. i jus need reassurance and probaby constant reassurance.. yar maybe i cared too much to lose it.. i dunno..
i really dun wanna think abt it le.. it does affect my mood greatly.. i wanna see myself being happy from now all the way till then.. but of cos i hope the wait could have been shorter.. cos i know its nt vv logical but its does clear the uncertainty a little..
i once stated in friendster that i wont mention it ever again..
today i jus did.. and i cried real badly (bad).. now i understand what ish it like to feel so.. i know deep down i dun bear to but i still did it.. hmm.. i really thought that was the best.. i alr said i will control and not cry de.. but i failed.. its in me so much le.. its as become a part of me i have to admit and i guessed if there ish the next round.. it will be worst.. i would have sank deeper..
i am trying to think optimistic but time ish really a huge factor.. besides that expectations ish another area.. a demanding decade isnt joking.. i knew it deep down.. but at the same time it was right abt my unlikelihood of seeking an 'alternative' because i just nt those sort of people.. but can the one do that too.. its nt able no thrust.. the time created a cloud of uncertainty.. i really hope it can be shorter.. i really wanna prject ahead and see wad things are like ahead of me.. or else i will fall badly.. i really think so.. and i guessed those who know me well will know how much pain i would have endured then if it ever happens.. i really dun wan..
the main reason behind all these thoughts.. i dunno.. i jus need reassurance and probaby constant reassurance.. yar maybe i cared too much to lose it.. i dunno..
i really dun wanna think abt it le.. it does affect my mood greatly.. i wanna see myself being happy from now all the way till then.. but of cos i hope the wait could have been shorter.. cos i know its nt vv logical but its does clear the uncertainty a little..
Pamela a simple 'yet not really so' girl
21 going 22
NTU(accountancy)graduate brand new in the the working world
loves being loved
loads of nonsense full of craps
aims to achieve the best
wanna achieve all her dreams big and little
